PS I love you too
by The Ultimate Uke
Summary: Naruto just moved to San Francisco and has to live with his uncle which is cool, except his uncle lives in the weirdest neighborhood! Gay boy parties & the lesbo's too! Randomness through out/awkward moments/lemons for everyone/Gay marraige/Narusasu.
1. Prologue: the guy next door

P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

* * *

**Prologue**: The guy next door and a creepy new neighborhood.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I care that I don't! I have the right to use them for my own sick and twisted fictions because its in the amendment bitches!

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…orochimaru being orochimaru! Crossdressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird Sasuke as usual! XD

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in a little rural town. but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, Sasuke Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers.

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

* * *

~Naruto~

I picked up one more box and walked into my room were I had to now occupy. My uncle, jariya was busy in his study while I had to single handedly move in my own stuff. I had found help though. the crazy looking neighbors across from me were kind enough to help. Although I could tell that the only reason the red head was helping was because bushy brows here was. The red haired guy looked like he was going to kill me and he seemed bored. Bushy brow seemed over joyed and happy to help.

"thanks for the help dudes…do you-wanna come in?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me?! We loved too!!!" the black haired boy said.

"Lee…" the red haired guy sighed in aggravation. His look read no I want to get out of here.

"…uh you don't have to if-"

"Gaara!!! Please, you promised jerk." He balled his fist up and frowned.

"…but you promised we would--"

"And we will if you give me the opportunity to _talk _to somebody other then you all day."

Wait were they…

"Do you have to?" he asked so seriously.

"Oh gawd I hate you Gaara! Just go home if you must but leave me be!"

The red headed guy with no eyebrows smirked. This guy was evil. "What are you talking lee? Are you telling me what I can and can't do?" he asked with one hairless eyebrow cocked up.

"uh are you two going to fight cause if its just that serious I could-"

the red headed guy pounced on who I suppose was lee and started sexually harassing. Lee gasped and tried to run only to be held there, kissed against his will, and the other guy shucked his hands down his pants. Oh my gawd what was going on here?! The fought for like ten minutes before lee just started kissing back and bucking his hips into the hand that jacked him off. Gaara was kissing lee so possessively and so uncaring in the middle of the road in broad day light. Omg they were homo's! they were actually homo's…ew..ew…gross!!!

Lee bucked his hips hard twice before he made a sort of gurgle noise in gaara's mouth and feel back into Gaara's awaiting arms. Gaara sighed and looked up at me.

"Sorry you had to see that…I _try _not to do that in public but he was asking for it. What were you saying Naruto?" he suddenly was as normal as they come.

I stared in shock, oh hell no my neighbors were gay, crazy, bipolar, weirdo's!

"Ugh…nothing I gotta go to Mexico bye." I ran inside and closed the door behind me, I watched them through the window to see if they'd leave. Lee yelled at him for awhile before Gaara grabbed lee by the back of his hair and forced a thick kiss on him. Then he picked and angry lee up bridal style and left.

"Weirdo's, gosh!?!" I went into my room and started unpacking than I heard a boom and decided it was time to interrupt him and his lady friend.

I went down the hall and pushed the door open looking around. I'm sure the heard me they were just hoping I'd see them in the act and run scared. What I'm I eight; I use to do that when I was little old man.

"Ugh god Rochi you're amazing, yeah suck it bitch…suck it dry!" he held the shorter petite girl by the back of her head with her face in his lap. She kneeled on the flor in a knee high skirt. He was sitting on the bed legs spread wide with his pants half down his hips. Pervert! She was chocking on…yeah you know. And her shirt was barely open she was pale and really pretty but way under developed for a woman her age though but it was like her looks made up for what she lacked in the body.

Was sucking extra hard to the point were you could hear slurping sounds. I don't think I could sit there and watch pervy J get a BJ from some chick.

"Fuck rochi ugh…yeah…suck it down bitch—uh…fuck—wait Naruto!?" he pulled her off his lap and threw her on the floor.

"Hey pervy J." I waved my hand. "I let myself in…I guess the key you gave me actually worked and you weren't trying to abandon me in some crazy town…by the way your neighbors are weird you may want to watch out for them." I frowned.

"What, wait when did you get here? And who and why?"

"The ones right across the street from us, the red headed eyebrow less freak and the bushy browed bob cut boy with the extr3eme feminine shape…I walked over and helped the lady up…she smiled and moved the hair out her face. "yeah they started fighting then the red headed one attacked the other one and then he gave lee a hand job in the middle of the road."

Pervy J and the lady looked at each other. "Again…those two kids really have to stop bringing their sex outside the bedroom." They said together.

"What?! They do this often?! You need to report a cop."

"Haha, your funny spikes…that's just normal…around here anyway." The lady sighed. "By the way I'm your uncles significant other…Orochimaru but everyone calls me Rochi."

* * *

"okay…rochi was cute, but just as pervy, weird and mysterious as pervy J. Plus what kind of girls name is Orochimaru?! I sat in my room completing some résumé's I was going to need a job while I was down here. I get tired and decided to stretch near the window near the left sided neighbor. I knew them they were constantly in the magazines because if their playboy son , Itachi Uchiha, the greatest actor ever. I'm not gay but he has some sexy lips. And eyes. And hair. Shut up I'm not gay! But for someone with a rich son why do they live in such an average (this place is far from average) okay below average neighborhood?

That's when the room opposite of me in the Uchiha's house glowed up from someone turning on the lights. A man about six three and a female about my height maybe taller because of the hills walked in. The man looked around and then turned to the girl and pulled her to him and kissed her. The guy shook his head hair out of it's loose pony tail and the sunshades he wore fell off. There under the shades stood Itachi Uchiha!

"No way! He's here!!!!" I pressed up against the window and watched some more…he must have came home to see his parents secretly; the girl must have been some groupie.

Itachi threw the girl to the bed and they started a heated make out session that seemed only like seconds but in fact minutes had gone by. Then the girl kicked him off her and pointed at the door with a grin on her face. Itachi frowned at first then smirked gathered himself and then left with a kiss to her cheek while she swatted at him to leave before he tried anything. When he was gone she got up and strolled over to the middle of the room, a perfect view for me to see too, and started to undress. The sundress she had on slid off her slightly pale untainted shoulders and left her bare back naked for me to eat up. Turn around I want to see your tits. She had on cute bunny boy underwear and her pig tails were coming undone. I ended up drooling and leaning in as she seemed to be touching herself and gasping very softly.

Dammit she's the type of chick to cry when you stick it in her, sensitive everywhere, especially her nipples. Good I was rock hard now. I felt that if I just stared at her any longer my dick would have exploded. Almost of its own will my hand found my dick pulled it out of my pant and started to jack me off. I gasped and immediately felt light headed. I stumbled a little forward and half closed my eyes. Damnit she was hot, I'd never felt this way for another chick…even my ex who had huge tits.

I was so close already, so fucking close…I imagined her on all fours trying to give me a sloppy blowjob, me coming on her face, her trying to catch it all on her pretty face. Then I came it was so intense I had to close my eyes till I splattered out all of it. I don't remember coming that hard or that much since puberty. I had to stroke it a few more times just to calm my aching member which remained hard even after that amazing ordeal. When I opened my eyes I licked my lips and swallowed thickly. Damnit I'm thirsty.

I looked at the chick, who was looking at me with a mixed expression from her window. I could see her lips move and she pointed at me dammit my come was splattered on the window how embarrassing…if she doesn't sew me for sexual harassment, or voyeurism, then she would sew me for this. I gave her the finger and closed my window.

maybe she'll forget about it and just move on maybe she was just pointing at something else…maybe she didn't see me masturbate toward her.

I have to check…I peeked through the blind and saw a guy my height, my age, and sort of resembling to Itachi walking over here in a black collared shirt and some matching black slacks that fit him snugly.

Damnit she has a brother! An Uchiha brother!?

Chill Uzumaki don't panic!

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

I heard silence from downstairs then Rochi's voice called for me.

"Naruto some ones here to see you!!!" she yelled.

"Tell them I'm busy…taking a bath!!!" I yelled back.

"He said he didn't mind waiting! I'm sending him up!"

"No!!! No, I'm naked…" I said back trying to find a weapon or something.

The door cracked open, "That didn't stop you from looking at me." Said a deep voice from behind it.

"…looking at who…who are you?" I said backing up until I hit the floor.

"…come on idiot, were going out." He said calmly.

"Hold up! I don't even know you and here you are taking me to-where are you taking me too?!" he simple sat back and laughed. It wasn't like a laugh at all more like a sinister chuckle.

"My _sister _wants to see the cute voyeuristic idiot boy that is dumb enough to masturbate in public like that…and give _her _the finger." He smirked.

"…oh…she told you all that? Well listen I wasn't masturbating to or at her, just happened to be facing…the window while I jack off…you know so it goes straight out…hahaha" I tried to calm him down but an idiot can tell that lie was bad.

"…really?" he walked over to my come painted window and whipped some of my come off with his thumb. This didn't even look like the window was open…you know what if you don't want to go talk to my _sister _then I'll go tell whoever it is downstairs that you jerk yourself off to the girl next door."

"Okay!!! okay-you win I'll talk to the bitch…" I sighed.

"Lets go dead last…" he walked by me and pulled me forward, unfortunately I was still a little hard and my dick rubbed against his also half hard dick. Why on earth he was he hard I don't know but this was gay. I jumped back and he looked at me weird.

He shrugged and lead the way I grabbed a jacket which was snatched from me and thrown back and said goodnight to the pervy couple. I walked into his house which was booming with the undead life. His cheerful mom that asked if he was eating with them and if I'd be joining them but he quickly said no and pulled me upstairs. I looked around for signs of the girl I stalked but found nothing everything up the stair well was masculine. Where did this girl live?

"Here go inside she's waiting he stopped in front of a all black door and looked back at me. I walked in ready you get this shit over with. Upon entering the bazaar room in which was most definitely not a girls room I tripped and fell face first into the bed. He walked in behind me and smiled. The room was almost all black but he had red light and red shelves. His bed was all black and the top blanket had a picture of a giant snake on it. In between the biggest shelves was a huge snake pit with a big ass snake in and a rat cage on top of it.

"So what's your name?" he asked slightly over joyed.

"Where's da broad?" I asked tired of his games.

"You mean Sasuke? Or Sasume?" he smiled grabbing his hair and pulling them into pony tails. He was…the girl I had just masturbated to. My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't breath…I just jacked off to a dude!

"Please tell me this is some type of joke…you have a twin right?"

"Nope…dobe…I have a job. I work at heavens hands host club. Its for men who like cross-dressers and pretty boys (seme). You happened to catch me undressing…stupid Itachi he threw me off track." He closed the door behind me and kneeled on the bed in between my legs.

"So now that I've told you the truth you tell me what's your name dobe?" why was this asshole such a prick.

"Stay the fuck away from me gay boy Sasuke! That's my name…" he frowned and put his hand on his hips.

"That's not a proper boys name…tonight until I get my revenge on you, you're my bitch and until I've tired of what's in between your legs pretty boy." He sat up and leaned in on me. Oh hell no, we don't play that where I'm from.

So I punched him, I don't care if he had a pretty face. Don't kiss me!

"Ouch you little…Usurantonkachi…what was that for?!" he held his face getting up and balling up his fist too.

"Because you're trying to rape me!!! And I'm _not _gay!!!" I hissed.

"And this is coming form the guy who just whacked his goodies off all over the window for me! Are you trying to tell me no!?" he hissed.

"Uh duh bitch I don't do anal sex!" I sat up to be punched down.

"Answer me…you telling me, Sasuke Uchiha, no?!" he whispered between gritted teeth.

"Yes…I'm telling you NO!" I said back.

"Suck a dick dobe, I DON'T get told no! Especially not by guys!" he pushed me down and in the blink of an eye tied my hands above my head. He sat down on my still hard member (traitorous cock, you go to who ever offers to touch you!) and grinded his hips smirking.

"Listen you B-b-AS-tard…s-st-stop it…I'ma c-come in my pants…" I gasped.

"Would you rather come in my mouth? Or Sasume's mouth," he licked my neck and I shivered. Damnit I wanted to fuck something raw right now.

"Fuck you fucking psycho! Stop it right-" a hand slid into my pant and stole my dick giving it some feverish pumps. I bucked my hips uncontrollably into his awaiting palm.

Then he was gone his weight on top of me and his hand I was starting to like. I looked down and he licked my free member causing me to see stars. Just when I thought he was tired of just licking it he took the entire thing down his throat and sucked hard. I gasped and bucked trying to push him off. At least that's what I told myself I was doing, but really I could have just been enjoying it.

He seemed to not have a gag reflex because he didn't spit me up for awhile. Then he took a deep breath and resumed. He pulled back and sucked on just the head of my cock leaving me moaning out loud. Then he sat up grabbed some lube and pour a large amount onto his hand; bro did I think it was over. He resumed his intake of my dick and then I felt him moan around the meat in his mouth. He sucked and gaped all around it.

I didn't all too much understand what was going on till Sasuke started moving his arms really fast underneath him. He was masturbating and finger fucking _himself. _Then he sat up and tried to get on top of me. No fucking way was I fucking a man, especially a crazy man. I moved and struggled trying to get him to avoid the inevitable. He finally growled when he realized he was still empty.

"Dammit dobe, don't you _want _to fuck this perfect ass?!" he hissed.

"Fucking a guy was not on my agenda this morning!!!" I hissed back.

"Your such an idiot! You were fucking my mouth a little while ago and now you don't want to do that any more?! Fine, virgin, fuck my mouth!!!" he sat back on his knees and took me back down his throat so quickly and so vast I felt him chock around me and felt as if I'd die! He started to bob his head hard, while with one hand he masturbated and the other he fucked himself. I heard him cry out around the cock in his mouth as he came. I couldn't take it the feel of his groans and the sound had me arching off the bed and coming into his mouth. I shoot so much I could feel him struggling to hold it in. He pulled back and sat there staring at me as I came down form my high.

After the tingle started to die out I looked down to see him staring at me with a mouth load of come he opened his mouth and showed me my essence then swallowed it and smiled. I gushed, that had to be the gayest most disgusting thing I'd ever seen…yet…I was so fucking turned on the hand that was slowly stroked my dick stopped and I came all over his face again. He laughed but whipped it off with his fingers and then liked it clean. I felt so contempt and tired that I passed out as he slid over me and fell asleep.

What was this weird feeling?

* * *

The balcony was cool and brisk and calming. Especially compared to the uncomfortable feeling in there. Okay I had a lot to think about, like this boy was still attractive to me, and he was obsessed with me or something. And then there was the fact that he wanted me to fuck him so badly he was willing to rape me…well reverse rape me. More like use my thing to rape himself. But still I've been here for eight hours mom and already I want to go back to Konoha! I wish this day would friggin end already!

I thought it couldn't get worst when a long haired guy rode into Bushy brows and crazy guys drive way. He was on a all black Harley Davis with a black matching outfit. He took off the helmet and you gotta admit straight or not he was pretty good looking.

But he had to be gay going to those peoples house. Suddenly the people in the house next door came out from their balcony and started yelling at him.

"Neji!!! You know Gaara put a mother fucking restraining order on you !!! Now leave before I call the cops for then!!!" a brunette boy howled half naked. He was in nothing but a towel and he looked ruffled like he had just walked out for sex.

"Kiba, come back inside I wasn't even close to finishing!" a naked taller guy shades on came out after him and yanked him toward him by his hair the other guy fell to his knee's in front of his cock and just started licking it. Then a a pregnant woman came out of the same house. She had massive tits and a nice body with a baby doll face, but that pregnant belly was a turn off.

"Kiba do this inside so they don't call neighborhood patrol on us!" she yelled.

"Hinata, Shino started it!" he whined and was pulled to deep throated the other boy.

"And your finishing it!" he hissed.

"Shino!?" she whined.

"Will you three take your bad t.v. drama were children can't see another man sucking cock!" the brunette from the bike yelled.

"What the fuck is going on here people were trying to sleep!" The weird guy from this morning yelled.

"Subaku no Gaara gimme back what's mine!!!!" he yelled balling up his fist to him.

"Oh, Neji it's just you…listen lee's asleep and that restraining order doesn't expire till next year June. Stay away stalker!" he hissed.

"Listen you bastard just because you put a citation on me doesn't mean I care and Lee is my soul mate so I'm here to claim him!"

"Get off my door step, you weirdo!" eyebrow-less spat.

"Gimme back my lover!" He whined.

"Ugh why is everyone outside?! Oh good morning Shino, Kiba-or is it still night? Wait what are you doing here Neji!!!" Lee hissed. His night wear was so gay. It was an all pink pants and button up shirt. Gaara slept in a shirt and sweat pants, Kiba and Shino apparently slept naked, and the female slept with an oversized male shirt.

"Oh fuck Kibaaaaaa!!!!" Shino chocked down the rest of his dick into kiba's mouth and bucked his hips roughly into his mouth. Kiba pulled back and swallowed. Suddenly all I could think about was how Sasuke sucked my cock so well and swallowed my come vastly.

"What is everybody doing up so late?" came the guy on the other side of my house balcony.

"Ugh Sai it concerns you not!" Lee hissed.

"Lee I love you marry me?!!" Neji yelled.

"Go home Neji I've already said no to this comment before!" he frowned.

"What must I do to have you…lee I love you! Marry me, and give me babies, and then we can move to Japan, and then-"

"Neji go home weirdo!" Gaara hissed.

"Shut up freak!"

"Freak?! FREAK?!? I'm no freak…" he seemed really insulted.

"Here we go again. Yosh!" Lee rolled his eyes and walked for the door.

"Lee your stalkers back!" Sai pointed.

"Thank you captain obvious…anyway shouldn't you be letting your actor, pretty boy, boyfriend fuck you raw?" Kiba snorted. "shouldn't you be doin the exact same except with a much less attractive partner?" he asked with a stern serious look on his face.

This was better then cable!

"Bastard how dare you I'm coming down there!!!" he looked like he was going to jump off the balcony but Shino was holding him. His leg that was in the sky let everything show, suddenly what looked like water dripped out of his hole.

"Ugh Shino you spunk from earlier is coming out!" Kiba said. He ran inside and closed the door on the girl.

"Huh, he calls come spunk...?" Gaara asked.

"You call it honey." Lee accused.

"That's because your sweet like honey!" Gaara said and then kissed him.

"Get off of him he's mine!"

the house on the other side of left side of Gaara's house light up as someone else joined the show on the balcony.

"What a drag….can't you jack asses see your waking everyone up…do you really want neighborhood patrol here!?" This lazy looking guy said. He only had on a pair of shorts on hen a fat guy in a muscle shirt and boxers came out.

"Shut up Shika!!!" they said in unison.

"What a drag…I'm going to bed." he turned but his fat friend stayed.

"Hi Choji!!!" Lee said happily pushing Gaara away.

"Hey Rock lee what up?" he waved back.

"Everyone's fighting and I want to go to sleep!" lee frowned.

"I'd let you sleep my love…after I feed you this cock!" Neji spat.

"That's sexual harassment!" Sai said.

"Choji can we go back to bed?" Shika pleaded rubbing his finger on his fat friends chest.

"It's like Suigetsu made you a sex animal…do you get tired of getting off."

"What ever stay out side with these HOMO's of you want!" he started stomping away when Sai said something again.

"Does sui know your fucking your best friend while he's off studying in Germany?!" Sai asked once again so serious.

"Does Itachi know you're an idiot!?" Shika asked pissed.

"Yeah, I think he knows I'm an emotionless idiot…but its okay Your really cute and just want big cock every once in a while. Because everyone knew sui had a small penis!!!" Sai yelled.

I snickered an everyone looked at me.

"Hey its neighbor friend!!! Hi neighbor I'm sorry about this after noon…or was it morning ugh!?" lee waved.

"uh heya…!" I waved.

"you there don't you dare try and take what's mine too!" Neji hissed.

"Neji shut up! Shut up! Shut up stalker boy! They'd all be asleep of you'd shut up and move on!" Shika yelled.

"And everyone would like you more if your weren't such a know it all prick." He shot back.

"Look I'ma go to bed now-"

"Sai, there you are let's go inside and take a bath together…" Itachi Uchiha came out of sai's balcony and hugged him in a matching robe.

My god he's gay…well he was kissing Sasuke earlier, wait Sasuke is his BROTHER!!! INCEST!!!

"Coming babe, but things are getting interesting here!" he smiled.

Suddenly the all pink house on the street gave off a loud boom. Every one paled and Neji got back on his bike and left kissing at lee. A blonde headed lady with a pig appeared on her balcony with a muscle shirt no bra and some underwear. "Go to mother fucking sleep you Fags!!!" she hissed.

" S-sorry tsunade!!!" they all yelled.

"Don't give me an explanation for it just fucking go to bed! Hell I don't care if you even go to hell just stop yelling at eleven o'clock at night!!! If I have to come over personally and cut off all your balls so you can stop yelling your hormones out I WILL!!!!" she pointed and the pig squealed and ran around.

"Tsunade-chan why are you doing stop yelling before neighborhood patrol comes!!!" a younger black haired girl came out and yelled.

"Shut up Shizune!!!"

"What me shut up you must not want no sex for the rest of the month!!???!" she hissed.

"Okay-alright already! GO to damn bed or I'll but you _dogs _asleep permanently! And shizune,"

"What ma'am?" she smiled.

She grabbed the girl by the back of her head and kissed her hard.

"There now shut up and go to sleep!" she dragged the pig and the other girl back into the house.

Dammit fags and lesbo's all around. What type of neighborhood is this!?

"See you neighbor boy! Hey everyone house warming for neighbor boy tomorrow at noon!!!" Lee yelled. No! No fags in my house!

"Wait no-Noway!!!!" I screamed.

"Hey why are you at Sasuke's house?" Kiba said from the window. "Are you tslking to Sasume?" he made smooching noises at me.

"I'm no fag, fag!!!" I hissed.

"…okay if you say so" he shrugged and closed the window.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around me and hugged me close. The person rubbed his face onto my back and purred. "Come back to bed, dobe?" he sighed.

"Get off me fag…I leaned forward ad looked away. "I'm sleeping at my house tonight-in fact I'm sleeping in my house until I marry my wife and we have kids and you know…"

Yawn "Whatever…just come stay with me a little bit more baby." He was really freaking me out. What was wrong with everyone on this street?!

"Naruto!!!" Rochi called form the balcony. "It would seem you made a friend and meet the neighbors! Come inside though, me and jariya are going out."

"Okay…welp gotta go and you know be straight!" I pushed his arms off and left.

"Bye Naruto…" he said with a sinister smile.

* * *

I walked into the house expecting to see two grown people dressed instead I saw rochi's naked back…her ass was great, then _she _turned around and I saw her penis…_wait her penis!?!_

"Ohmygawd you're a man!!!!" I hissed.

"Oh my…I didn't mean for you to see my penis…" he looked down and smiled at his dick. "It would seem I'm aroused."

"Oh my gawd Jariya!!!" I ran into a naked Jariya trying…and I said trying because I mean it…trying to fit into a lather getup.

At this point I screamed, threw up, and I'm not sure what else but I past out.

Dear mom,

I miss you!

Hope you liked Read and review!

Uke-chan


	2. uninvited guest in my life

P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

**Chapter one: **uninvited guest in my life!

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…Orochimaru being Orochimaru! Cross-dressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird I as usual! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own I only se these characters for my own sick and twisted pleasure…what your reading it!

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in a little rural town. but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, I Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers.

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

* * *

~Sasuke~

I woke up in a cold lonely bed, surely I wasn't dreaming. If it was it was a hell of a wet dream! I dreamt that _I, _Sasuke Uchiha, had to chase after _someone else. _It felt so real, the orgasms, his jizz that tasted strangely of ramen XD, and his scent stuck to my bed. Naruto! He's real, I found my soul mate! Finally, I hate being hit on by random men.

_When you cried I'd whip away all of your tears, _

_when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fear. _

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_but you still have part of me._

I grabbed my phone and pick it up.

"What lee?"

{"well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Look Sasuke your late its your shift till 7, remember?" } He said yelling over all the music and commotion in the club. I'd forgotten I had to go to work…and there was the party lee set up at the new guys house! I had to take my break early for it.

"Maybe I should go see him?" I looked down at the phone gushing. "What am I saying he's going to come after me!!! Not the other way around!" I hissed.

{"hello are you still there?"} lee asked aggravated.

"Uhh…I was thinking about someone…" I said unconsciously.

{"YOU!? The great and most beautiful Uchiha Sasuke?! Thinking!? About someone!?"} he laughed.

"Bye ass hole…" I hung up the phone and quickly went to get dressed.

* * *

I walked in as Sasume and almost immediately three men jumped up in excitement as if they were waiting for me since-

"They've been waiting for you since the club opened up." I heard Morris say from behind the bar. "shut up and give me my name tag." I hissed at the smirking jerk.

"Sasume!" the youngest one said. How did he get into this club he looked sixteen.

"Sasume, love!?" The oldest one said.

"Sweet-sweet Sasume!!!" The red head cheered.

"Oh well I'm on waitress duty boys so if you don't mind I should be getting to work-"

"They bought you for this evening dude" Gaara said.

"…oh…of course that'd be the case! Well boys, looks like you have me for the day." I turned back to Gaara. "I'm going to take my break at noon for Naruto's welcome party." I said grabbing my apron and leaving.

"Who's Naruto's?" he asked stunned.

"the cute blonde from yesterday night." I said running backward with a smile.

"you've known him for like eight hours why are you so into this kid…Kiba said he saw him on your balcony last night."

"Sucked his dick…" I said grabbing the three drinks.

Gaara smirked, "Your such a depraved fucker…" he left to the ladies room with a smack to his passing lovers ass in a French maid dress.

Lee barely looked like a guy, in fact he just looked like a flat chested female. His bang was so long and thick it covered his entire forehead even his eyebrows. His dressed hugged his body tightly and went out at the bottom but rose up at the back to show off his ass. The stockings were thigh high with four inch black baby doll heels. The rest of his hair was pulled back into a weave that went down passé his shoulders.

I walked passed to the table in which I was to wait, "Heya boys…" they were drooling over me.

"Sasume sit with me?" the youngest said.

"Marry me?" the oldest said raising a diamond ring.

"Boys…calm it down" time sure as hell passes by slow when you want to see someone.

* * *

"Risybaby I'm goin on break…" I threw off the apron leaving the perverted guys I was flirting with for tips. I usually always end up getting a 500 dollar tip a day but it was beak time and I already had 634 dollars.

"This early?! where is everyone going that you only left four people to run a mother fucking club?!" Morris argued

"Somebody's house…" I accidentally said somebody really high.

"Who's somebody?!" he asked with a smirk.

"…a guy…" I said undressing in the back at this point I was so comfortable with the fact that I had to change in front of him. But I only had an hour break and the more time I spent undressing minus a dobe, the least time I had to spend with the dobe.

"Fuck it I'll go in this…" I walked off.

"What not comfortable changing in front of me still…psh…I told you I'm straight sasu-boy…" he sighed lighting up a cigarette.

"want to save time…want to see him…" damnit mouth why can't you hush, hush these days?

"hmm must be a super god if he's got the famous Uchiha Sasuke tripping this hard?" he looked away smiling. Bastard its not like that! But I don't have time to waste on this guy I had a dobe to rape!

"bye, bye boys come back real soon…" I walked out. "Cause I haven't got tipped like that since I was a newbie." I said to myself.

* * *

as we arrived at old man Jariya's house and his perverted 'partners' with the stuff for the party. Everyone except for Gaara had decided not to change back into normal clothes. So there was a group of guys in French maid dresses and black shirts and pants on their door step.

Orochimaru answered the door, he was in a sun dress and his hair was tied back into a pony tail.

"oh…you kids hardly ever say hi…oh I get it you see a new kid around your age and you try and recruit for that gay club of yours? But I've been offering to play games with you for ever….kukukukukukuk." he laughed.

"Yeah, yeah up yours…can we come in before Neji gets here?!" lee hissed "I have tot pee, and I don't want him being here for the!"

"upstairs but careful not to wake up Naruto until your finished decorating." He pointed up the stair case beside him. We all headed in and started decorating. Lee went upstairs and tried to relieve himself. "Oh wait Neji's already here…oh well." I probably should have said something. But I like watching Neji molest lee it was hella funny.

Time to go see my soul mate, I thought as I walked up the stairs. Mine! Mine! And MINE!

I crooked open his door and looked at him sleeping in bed. he'd only been here for 12 hours and his room looked like a typical rock star college boys room. His clothes and underwear was on the floor. Don't sniff it…don't sniff it…okay just once.

I picked it up placing it to my face lightly and sniffed it. Oh GAWD, I was so horny from the scent of his musky crotch! It was so good…I had to take deep breathe, I wanted him to force me onto the bed and rape me while he gagged me with his underwear. I wanted him to deface me by coming on my face and making me come on mine I wanted him to wake up…so he did.

~Lee~

So I had to take a major piss, so immediately I reached the restroom I kicked off the high heels spread my legs…and because we use such skimpy underwear I just pushed it to the side, and pissed.

"oh fuck lee…have you ever considered watersports?!" someone moaned.

I felt warm muscular hands that weren't Gaara's wrap around me. The person pulled me close and started grinding there erection in between my ass crack, purring like there was no tomorrow.

"I've waited for this moment for so long…I'm ganna fuck you so hard!" he screamed.

"So…I want to know…how long have you been here?" I asked my resident stalker, neji.

He sniffed me, "Mmmm since you got off for a break dummy…you smell so good. And you look fucking fantastic! Do they tip you a lot."

I huffed "of course look at me…guys die for flexibility!" he rubbed my crotch.

"f-flexi…bility?! Gawd Lee don't make this anymore desirable for me…I like tehm limber" he turned me around before I got to shake and my meat was still wet and out he fell to his knee's and engulfed me. I couldn't help it I screamed. I tried to push him away but if o couldn't beat Gaara off me what made you think I could Neji?

"N-neji!!!" I gasped.

"I haven't heard you scream my name in pleasure for two years now…almost forgot how desirable it was." He took me all the way down his throat and sucked hard again.

"fuck stop it!" I bucked.

"Neji I'm coming!!!!"

~Naruto~

I awoke to the prettiest little thing in a French maid dress. I first thought that old perverts finally hired me my first whore!? But then I thought it was a stripper…but her beauty alone was much too pretty to be a whore, or hooker.

"Oh my gawd…" I rubbed my eyes. "You must be an angel…damn you are-"

I noticed my underwear in her hands. She jumped and hide them behind her.

"Sorry I…uh….sorry…" she dropped them. That was pretty hot. Such a pretty girl craves this cock so badly.

Ugh that was such a turn on especially after I had just woke u and still have a hard on from having to pee. She was so cute I'd fuck her so hard she cry…she look like a cryer.

"N-naruto…you want me…" she swallowed thickly her cheeks light up pink her lips were so wet form her licking them.

"Fuck yeah…pervy J or Rochi must still have some straight hormone in them to pick out such a sexy girl like you." I patted my bed. "come sit down with me."

~Sasuke~

He thought I was cute…sexy and most of all but not as important-A GIRL!!!! I'm a BOY!!!

"Naruto…" I said less feminine.

"Don't talk babe come sit on my bed and let me take you for the ride of your life." Hell I was going to tell him but he tempted me.

I practically jumped in his arms if thinking I'm a girl will get his rocks off inside me then go ahead think I'm what ever the hell you want.

"dobe-I mean uh Naruto…I want you so badly…" I laid down on his (Soon to be our) bed and pulled him on top of me. Oh fuck I was hoping these skimpy underwear would hold down my erection. I felt his on my thigh instantly.

"You're really pretty…" he drooled.

'And your really dumb! Hahahaha!' "Oh thank you…but enough chit chat fuck me through the floor." I said seriously. "Oh but wait I'm a virgin still-"

"It okay I'll lead you through it!" he said over excited.

"Oh but wait baka…I want to save myself for marriage…" I said looking away when I looked back he was sad. "But I guess we can go anal-have you ever done it analy?"

"Uh yeah but only like twice and the first time was wrong…"

I sighed, "Then your in luck…so hurry up and put your fucking dick up my ass hole and fuck me already! I can't just sit here while your fucking radiating sex…" I rubbed his crotch. He gasped and kissed me, tumbling at first, but I help guide him to take the dominant role. His breath should have reeked of a good nights sleep…but it was like drinking a fresh bottle of water if you get that.

He started to undress his shirt came off and oh gawd kill me now this was so mother fucking hot! He was so mother fucking built, tan and perfect…I just want him to take me now. I wanted to see those muscles ripple as he pounded me into the mattress. I wanted to see him dripping with sweat, his hair mused, and him gasping for breath.

He started kissing my neck and for the first time in ages I had a problem keeping quiet during pre sex acts. His kisses were so soft but they were leaving me wanting, I could feel my insides spasming.

"Sasuke-have you seen lee?" Choji asked.

"Dammit cho get out!" I hissed.

"what…?" the dobe hadn't even noticed him and was busy kissing and sucking my body. I shued at him and he just laughed and left.

"Nothing…I just said fuck me you dope…"

"Okay…so you're the type that likes nick names…what should I call you?" he hissed. I pushed him on the mattress and tied his hands together.

"How about" I sat on his cloth covered prick "your future baby mama…" I said as I tied them to the bed post.

"Uh lets try something more erotic" he grinded his hips up and I'm sure he didn't feel it but it gave great friction to my penis. I gasped fuck I'm pre-cummin all over myself.

"I'm so wet…" I gasped.

I took the fluid in between two fingers and brought it to my lips I heard him whimper so I let him lick it. He was going to be angry when he finds out I'ma guy. But not till I get fucked. Apparently he can't pound me like I had planned but I can ride him.

"Hey we came here to throw a mother fucking party if you let him fuck you Sasuke then we won't have enough time with or short break." Said Shikamaru.

"Wow, your cute too…" he purred.

I gave Shikamaru my best dead man glare, and he hissed back.

"Uh wait right here baby…I got a chick to kill." I walked up to Shika and closed the door behind us, "Can't you see I'm this close to getting laid?! I want this to happen for the first time in like ever, I want this guy to fuck me raw and you all are being pussy's!" I hissed.

"well your being such a greedy bastard that likes to waste our time just so you can have the next fuck! And I thought you he was straight!?"

"…well…" I looked away.

"He…he doesn't know you're a boy does he…?"

"…maybe…maybe not." I looked away.

Kiba, Shino, Gaara, Choji, and Sai came up. "What's happening have you found lee?!"

"Have you checked the restroom I heard Orochimaru say Neji was here…"

"WHAT!? Neji is here and you didn't TELL ME!!!???!!" he growled.

"Is that creepy neighbor guy from across the street?!" Naruto yelled out his room door.

"Uh no who's that?!" I said back,

"Are you PRETENDING to be a guy!?" Gaara hissed. "You just left my poor lee for neji and you went to get fucked by a straight man….have you become as stupid as Kiba or as dense as Sai?!" he ran off. "Oh yeah Naruto their all men!"

"WHAT!?! Pervy J untie me!!!" he hissed.

"Bastards!!!! Can't a guy get laid around here?!" I walked inside angry, he looked scared.

"This is not how I thought this trip would go getting raped by a bunch of men in dresses." He closed his eyes.

I simply opened his pants and brought out his cock. Okay I didn't rush away form work not to get this…and I'd already be taking a joy ride on his fucking cock minus these fucking pussy's!

I licked it and it twitched in response. "So you remember me? That's right dobe its me…Uchiha Sasuke." I said in my normal voice.

"All man I knew this was too good to be true…why don't you fuck one of these guys they look willing? And don't tell me you all are guys too!" he looked at Kiba, Sai, and Shikamaru in there dresses.

"Yep…were all dudes…" Shika said.

"I can be what ever you want me to be…" Sai purred.

"Ugh somebody explain how does a guy look like a girl and not just any girl one you'd want to bang hard?" he groaned.

"…I…don't know but I'm still getting laid dobe." I said taking off my underwear. Lee, Neji, and Gaara busted in fighting. Lee was only half naked his penis was hard and dripping…neji's penis was out to and Gaara seemed to be trying to keep neji off lee.

"Okay this is getting extremely homo in here and I'd really just appreciate it if you leave! And you with the pale eyes and penis hanging out you don't even like me! Who invited you to my party!?" he hissed.

"Naruto…neighborhood watch is here for your party I'm sending them up till the pizza's here!" Rochi yelled.

"What no untie me their raping me!!!" he hissed.

"Kukuku! Kids these days!" he laughed.

"Oh shit Neighborhood watch-who even told them we were having a get together!?" kiba hissed.

"wasn't me," choji had started eating an entire bowl of potato salad.

"Hello boys I ordered the pizza…Uh hey Naruto" Iruka said upon coming in.

"…Iruka sensei???!!" he gasped.

"Hey Naruto…Sasuke put his p-pe-ni-his wee wee down!!!" Iruka hissed.

Then Kakashi came and wrapped Iruka up in his arms "come now Iruka you remember when we were this age…sex was very much on our minds in whole…so Naruto iruka talks about you all the time but it would seem he forgot to mention you like girls _and _guys." The one eye showing closed so I guess he was smiling.

"Gay!? I'm not gay and why are you holding my sensei so close?!" Naruto hissed.

"Oh gawd…uh Naruto were…"

"Is he doing the same damn thing they do to me to you because I'd die before you but my Iruka sensei through anything!" he pulled on his restrains.

"y-your…Iruka? Y-y-your Iruka?!" Kakashi was next to him in the blink of an eye throwing me off him and choking him. He turned red then purple and I was sure Kakashi was ready to crack his neck when Iruka jumped on him.

"Please stop he's like my son!!!" he begged.

Kakashi sighed but let him go, "Remember this spikes…Iruka owns you-no one but me **owns **Iruka!" he grabbed Iruka and kissed him hard. "Mine! MINE! And Mine alone!!!"

"Oh my gawd Iruka sensei you're a homo!!?!!" Naruto gasped.

"…I meant to ell you…that's why I left Japan…I got engaged…" California rocks!

"Their married.!!!" Shika sighed.

"I-I don't even know you since pre-k you told me that was wrong! When you caught me kissing guys you'd hit and you're fucking a guy daily."

"Actually brat I fuck him…right Iruka?" he smiled again I guess." And if you have a problem with his sexuality I can take care of that simply by turning my back and letting Sasuke do what he wishes with you." Evil bastard.

"N-Naruto…I'm sorry…" Iruka was looking down and the room went quiet.

"Naruto? Your dick is so small." Sai smiled..

TBC

* * *

rush delivery! I'm doing this with most of my stories till I'm finished so all the shorter ones will be finished within the maximum of four months! That's a promise!

I luv you all so read and review!

Constructive criticism is welcomed! Actually requested!

Uke-chan.

the song is My immortal by evanescence.


	3. The attack

P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

**Chapter two: **the attack of the obsessive uke and the possessive seme!

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…Orochimaru being Orochimaru! Cross-dressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird I as usual! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own I only se these characters for my own sick and twisted pleasure…what your reading it!

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in the livest city (californai). but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, a Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers. And he likes him!

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

~Naruto~

"W-what the fuck Sai!?" I hissed.

"I'm just kiddin…but seeing how you reacted to that I think I'll start calling you that." He sat on my lap.

"Get off!!! Iruka help me!!!" I saw anger in Kakashi again. What the fuck I never considered him to be gay none the least with such a possessive jerk!

"Kakashi can I please?" he begged.

"Wtf does Kakashi rule your life?!"

"No but I own him." He said smugly.

"Untie me so I can handle that smug jerk!" I growled.

"N-naruto? Are you…in love with Iruka…?" Sasuke said with a sense of hurt in his voice.

"…Iruka was like a father to me when he said he had to move to the states to live with his new lover I never expected such a weirdo."

"so you do love him…stupid I don't care if you love him or not your still ganna fuck me!!!"

"Oh my gawd, get off me you obsessive gay boy!" I hissed.

"Does the fact that I keep Iruka under strict watch disturb you? Or is it envy…teacher student relationships always fail."

"I don't, not now nor ever, want Iruka…not like that anyway. The fact that you made me think of that makes me feel sick."

"I'm still talking to you-your going to fuck me!"

"oh my gosh-I am not going to fuck you." I growled.

"why not?!" he screeched.

"because I don't like men…unlike everyone on this street except the lesbo's down the street!" I hissed.

He huffed and pushed me down further ready to sit on my dick, "wait, wait bastard!! This is rape! Iruka!?" I looked at my former teacher.

"He can't help you." Kakashi said rudely. Iruka looked at him mad and hit his chest with both hands.

"Oh my gawd you do not control me Hatake!" he turned to leave only to be dragged back and forced on my desk were he was molested.

"okay-okay apparently you all are weird by nature please you don't have to stop being weird you just have to stop doing it here." I said.

"Who is this guy?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka hissed and kicked him off, "He's my favorite student I used to baby sit for him when he was little…never thought I'd be teaching you again.

"Seriously…get out…all of you. And untie me perv!" I hissed.

Sai who had been pushed aside from me was pouting then he got up and started walking toward the door.

"Hey lets have a frenzy party!" Lee shrieked.

"…Not before I kill him!" Gaara yelled at Neji who jerked forward and wanted to hit him in the mouth.

"Bitched don't step at me like that again or you will get hurt!"

"Hurt me gay boy!" he hissed back.

"Seriously…get out people…surprise…whoa…now get, leave…" I said again.

"Frenzy!" Sai said from the door.

"OKAY EVERYONE PIZZA'S HERE!!!" everyone smiled and rushed down stairs, Sasuke sat the on my lap frowning…

"your lucky I'm hungry…" he left.

And I was still strapped to the bed.

* * *

Night time was so much better I hadn't heard from stalker boy and I decided I wanted to go watch the show on the roof. Because that's what these people were one big ass sitcom. I sat out there in the cooled evening air watching my breath come out as little white puffs till, star of the show numbers two and three came out. Rock lee and Gaara. They were arguing most likely about what happened in his room this afternoon.

Lee walked out on to the balcony and looked out towards mine, even though I'm sure they ain't seen me, I hide a little. Gaara walked out behind him grabbing his arm only to have it yanked away. Gaara yelled something and lee just kept staring.

Gaara grabbed lee's shirt by the collar and turned him around, lee looked scared but didn't back down. Gaara growled stuffed that all looked like the word mine. Lee just stared half squinting at the ridiculous red head.

Lee whispered something that had the wrong effect on the red head which caused him to slam lee against the rail, rip his pants down, and forced his meat up the boys ass. Lee screamed loud enough to be heard meaning everyone else heard it too.

"GAAAA-RRRAAAA!!!!" he hissed.

"Shut up! Who is it that owns you!?" Gaara yelled.

"Gaara!!!" he was pulled back roughly until he screamed and jumped. Gaara was forcing lee to move on such a painful/pleasurable punishment.

"Not good enough what's my name slut!?" he hissed moving his hips now.

"I'm s-sorry Gaara…! Gaara!!!!" he hissed.

"Anything for me to stop huh whore!? I want my _full name_!!!" He purred. Now pulling lee back while thrusting roughly into him.

Lee looked back at him and it only earned him a spanking. I can't believe it these guys were actually doing it outside in public where we all could see and now he was spanking lee like a kid on the freaking balcony!

"Lee…that's not my name!" He hissed.

"Ugh-Gaara ! Fuck please stop it hurts!!!" he hissed.

"Are you telling me or begging me!!! I own you, I own this, this part of you that's milking me so nicely!!! I own every stinking part of you!" he pulled out turned the black haired teen around and pushed right back inside him. "Mine! Mine! Mine! Say it lee say who owns you!"

"Gaara!!!" his head fell back and he pushed up against the rail.

"That's it fuck yourself on this cock! This cock is just as much yours as you are mine!!!" Gaara purred pushing his hips so hard lee threatened to fall of the balcony.

"Oh shit…" I muttered. I had been turned on by this sight….I mean I've only ever saw these type of things in movie or read in books! People actually have passionate sex on the roof and in other people's houses!? This whole place was beginning to weird me out. But I was still hell of aroused and no one could see me…hmm…

"Gaara I'm sorry I won't do it again!!!" he pleaded, "so let me…nnn…oh gawd!!!" he fell down.

"Let you what…? You want to blow now? Well fuck no-I'm not even close!!!" he laughed. "Sorry lee pay backs a bitch! I'm not through with you though," he stopped moving leaving lee a trembling mess to stand there. He lifted one of lees legs above his shoulder and pushed the other one out wider. There was more brutal whispering and stuff that had lee nodding but I couldn't hear anything. I wish they'd go back to yelling already. Okay so I'm perverted, and yes I was masturbating. Could you blame me?

"I own you here lee," he kissed him possessively and moved on to his neck. "I own you here too." He sucked a mark onto his skin. "I own these," he squeezed his nipples causing lee to scream again. "and most of all-and more important then anything…even if your body gets taken away from me…I own you here," he placed a soft kiss over lee's chest were the heart was. "And don't you ever forget it." He warned raising lee's right hand most likely showing him the engagement ring. "now again who own this?!"

"Gaara!!!!" he hissed as Gaara's thrust started again.

"Who!!!??"

"Gaara!!!!" he cried.

"We speak in full names rock lee, WHO!?!" he pushed hard into him.

"Oh-my-gawd!!! Gaara!!!" Gaara smirked.

"I like that title but I'm not god lee…my name? What's my name?!" he gave another deep thrust and I found myself coming in my own hand while I cursed softly.

"Gaara Sunagakure!!!! You own me, you own rock lee baby!!!" he came and passed out in his lovers arms. Gaara smirked and waved at me, "Hope you enjoyed the show spikes." He said picking up his unconscious lover and walking inside their house.

"W-what!?!?" I hissed. He saw me since when, oh gawd what type of straight man I'm I playing when I just committed the first crime of homosexuality: Voyeurism.

"Oh fuck…" I looked down at my spilled seed. I decided I'd seen enough of this sitcom for a week and went inside to my room.

"dammit…I opened the window to Sasuke window hoping I could talk to him only to catch his window was open and there was a guy…I don't know…mounting him. Sasuke-oh my bad-sasume was facing her window I'm sure she left open on purpose, eyes half lidded, hair tousled, skin flushed, fucking hot simple and true. I watched in amazement as she held her leg up for the guy to get better leverage into her.

She looked at me and smirked, licking her lips and mouthing something that looked like my name. bastard, really he's such a bastard.

But there goes my penis and its mind of its own again. I was aroused, can you blame me she looked like a wanton slut. He probably was, but I think it should be illegal to make such an innocent girl act like such a hoe. But Sasume was a figment of mine, as well as many other men imaginations.

"what do you want?" I asked the empty room. She heard me though, because she responded. "fuck me hard."

I stared angry, "why?"

"I want you too, you don't want to?" she gasped. They had changed position to were she was sitting up on all fours. The guys continued his rampage with out even noticing that the one he was fucking was asking for it from me to be doing it to him.

"I'm not gay." I stressed all the words so there would be no more misunderstandings.

"neither am I…well I think anyway…right now," he jumped. "I would much rather have you…" he licked his lips again.

"…Sasuke… then take it and for the rest of your life if you think that's what you want, pretend I'm the one fucking you for the rest of your life."

He smiled, "You will someday…" he stretched those words out. Then the guy on top of him climaxed and I had it, and closed my window tonight was just one of them days.

* * *

Okay…not my greatest work but did you see that GaaLee scene…bitchin' rite?!

And the first scenes entire conversation was forced and awkward! Laugh bitches it's funny. But the nxt chapter is worth it.

Love ultimate uke.


	4. Chapter 4

P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

**Chapter three: **the attack of the crazy gay boy…

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…Orochimaru being Orochimaru! Cross-dressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird I as usual! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own I only se these characters for my own sick and twisted pleasure…what your reading it!

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in a little rural town. but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers.

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

* * *

~Naruto~

Okay so it was night time and he throw rocks at my window. What the fuck is he doing to up so early? Ugh!

"What do you want Sasuke?" I whispered.

"Hmm," he smiled "I just wanted to talk but you won't give me your number."

"Shit fuck yeah because were both dudes. You better have an explanation for this one?" I said slowly.

He leaned in and meshed his fingers together; "Oh I forgot I have something good for you!" he smiled looking for something on the table near the rack.

"Please don't be a condom or something?" I said raising and eyebrow.

He smiled found it, "I went out and got these yesterday…here" he threw me a bottle.

I opened the bottle and topped it over so the papers inside would fall out. I unrolled them only to find that it was test result.

STD test all of them were negatives. Recent negative test results for a Sasuke Uchiha.

"What…is this?" I asked shocked.

"You wanted them there you have them now you can fuck me…I have a break tomorrow around two o'clock. So fuck lets have sex then I'll bring the essentials." He brought out a PDA and looked for available days.

"what! I'm not fucking you tomorrow!" I hissed.

"oh your such a spoiled sport! What about tonight? If not tonight Thursday…I'm off then. We could tear that bed room up!" he laughed.

"No not tonight! Not Thursday either!" I growled.

"Oh I see you want that slow passionate fuck…we don't have time or patients for that. Lets do this on Tuesday-no way too far! Hey lets do it now?" he suggested throwing the PDA aside.

"You already suggested that! Listen Sasuke-your gay, I'm not! Lets get that fact through our heads. I'm not fucking you! You damn straight are not topping me!" I said coldly. His smile was gone but he went through the phone still.

"What are you doing on the 18th?" he asked nonchalantly.

"…uh…nothing, I guess." I looked around.

"Then that is when we'll make it. Until then lets chat." He said seriously.

"You are so freaking crazy its not even funny! Ugh gosh what is it?" I growled.

"Well ask me something you're new here." He ordered.

"What's up with Shino, Kiba, and pregnant lady?" I asked off the top of my head. They were by far the weirdest…okay maybe not the weirdest…but they weren't normal.

"Well…they should really tell you…but Hinata is shino's girlfriend of two years and Kiba is his boyfriend…if that makes sense." He looked around awkward.

"Um no…but I won't ask anymore about them. What about Gaara and lee?" I sat backwards on my chair to face the window.

"Uh…well their story is more interesting to me anyway…Gaara was dating Neji when I first meant them in high school and lee was madly in love with this annoying girl named Sakura…any way she made him gay and he had always turned Neji on. That's when he decided now that lee is gay he could move in and stalk his territory. So Neji broke gaara's heart for lee and Gaara decided to stay friends with him. Unfortunately they only dated for like a year before Gaara stole him from Neji. And then they fell madly in love with each other and recently decided they want to get married in December. Plus lee's dad doesn't even know he's gay none the less getting married to a guy." He sighed.

"O…kay…that sound fun if I were there to watch. I tell you ya'll are like a sitcom." I sighed.

"who else…?" he asked curious.

I looked around. Sai was just weird and I didn't want to know his story, I knew Shikamaru was cheating on his boyfriend in London and his story was also known to me. "What about that Kakashi fellow…?" I did want to know the name of the man that abused my Iruka.

"Kakashi…is…I want to say a mystery-but to me he's not…to everyone else he's is. He was my first male…fuck…I guess. But he was also my fresh man college professor, yeah he said he was getting married and that was the end of us, then I meet his pansy lover…the guy was a chick with a dick. But I was the adult about it. Kakashi is the most peculiar individual I have and will ever meet. If you think I'm stalking you…then you'd have called the cops by now with him. And when he gets you he's possessive. He'll write his name all over you and if you think I'm kidding your naïve. He will take his come and write Kakashi Hatake on you…but Iruka, Iruka brought another side out of him. It was more possessive and more bipolar then usual. He made Kakashi…mad. But guess when you find that right guy they'll do that to you." He looked at me with a dreamy look in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "So is he abusive…you've dated him before?" I asked.

"Yes he rapped Iruka one time in a public bathroom in school during class. I happened to be in a stall then…with Sai and Shika…and sui…" he muttered.

"He what? To my sensei!" I was going to get Iruka away from that man.

"but Iruka is madly in love with him also…I swear if he were anymore in love he'd drink his piss." Sasuke said.

"hm…tell me more about Shika now…" I asked trying to calm this flame this stranger put in me.

"Shikamaru…he's gay." He wrinkled his nose.

I laughed, "Aren't you ALL gay?"

"But he's super gay. He may not show it a lot but he's a super fag, not like Haku who will drop to his knees and give you head before he figures out your name. But he is pretty fagotty! Fortunately he is actually one of the most intelligent people I have ever meant since I got here, makes sense why sui would want to pound him all day, but he's so know it all he's fucking annoying! Ugh Shikamaru as I'm sure you know is cheating on his crazy possessive lover Suigetsu who is currently in London furthering his education. Shika is such a hoe he started cheating immediately with Choji. Choji is his best friend from elementary and the fact that he could pull someone as hot as Shika is amazing. But Chouji is hung like an elephant…makes sense right?" He sighed.

"…hm I guess…and you? What's your story?" I asked laying my head out on my arms.

"hm…I'll tell you the night we fuck." He smiled. "you should come to the club one day…if you want to its called heavens hand host club, its for guys and girls who are into that kind of thing…only special costumers get to fuck a bishounen. There is a price limit they have to exceed to get the option to fuck any guy at all. But the price limit is so high only rich people can get there. On top of that the money you paid to get on the list has nothing to do with the money you have to pay for every fuck. Then before we can have a list as individuals we need five regulars, people who will buy you on a daily basis."

"so that guy mounting you yesterday-"

"Kabuto…he's not my favorite and he's so in love with rochi. Poor guy will never get what he wants. But we pretty much are a host club for the normal people and a whore house if we want by night."

"so you want to be a whore?" I rolled my eyes.

"hm it pays the bills…but I can say 'no' its freedom of choose. This is America dobe. But I'd fuck you for free…" he smirked.

"ugh…yeah anyway. Why wasn't Gaara and Shino dressed up in dresses then?"

he turned then flicked a small card across to my window, "Gaara, Shino, and Suigetsu are full time pretty boys-they don't cross dress. I do both but mostly I go as Sasume because I'm really gay and can't stand tending to wemen. I usually find myself being tended to by the hostie. But what ever…you should so join it. Get a job with us, you'd love rissy he's the only straight guy there and he'd watch you like an older brother. Girls swoon over you, Haku's at you disposal. And if you thought I looked like a girl Haku practically is one."

"I guess…I'll check the place out…but I don't do gay host clubs." I sighed. "Sasuke…are you happy…with your life I mean?"

he nodded, "it would seem in another universe I probably wouldn't be…if I hated Itachi or feared him, if I wanted you any more or if we were rivals then life would suck…but I love my brother, I have friends, I can say I'm gay and nobody will scrutinize me for it, and I have you…" he smiled at me. I felt a soul drenching pain…life was fucking perfect for these weirdo's but life sucked for me.

"Good-good night sas…I'll see you around."

"Wait Naruto…I'm serious from this point on if I get you were I want you I'm just going to take it. I will win, got that?" he hissed.

"…agreed." I said closing the window.

I heard him yell are you serious and scream in joy as he got my answer. I just had to avoid him from now on.

Dear mom day four and I'm sure of it…this place is one huge insane asylum.

California is weird…

just kidding I love you all, read and review!

Uke-chan.


	5. Chapter 5

P.S. I love you too.

By, uke-chan

**Chapter four: **I win…

Warnings: Randomness, weirdo's, pedophiles…Orochimaru being Orochimaru! Cross-dressing through out the story! Incest in some cases, shota, yuri (I kno, I kno, dnt attack me) yaoi. Lemon through out, OOC much. NejiXooc! Gaara's just crazy! Kiba is so homo! An weird I as usual! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own I only se these characters for my own sick and twisted pleasure…what your reading it!

Authors note: Hello and welcome FF readers! Much luv 2 you if you are reading this, and to all my NaruSasu fans. Anyway I'ma mention the summary in this because I'm a very lazy gurl. Naruto is going to college out side of konoha and has to go live in a little rural town. but as he moves in he catches a girl undressing who catches him peeping and decides to get her revenge. Except he finds out that the she is a he, I Uchiha. Working at a host club for cross dressers.

~indicates characters POV~

Flamers welcomed! I encourage it. Keep in mind I was very high when I wrote this XD

~Sasuke~

I was in a slump, why was it taking so long to get a guy into me?! I'm freaking Sasuke. He should have humped me the first day and never again. But school starts tomorrow and I was also unprepared for that. The summer break for most sophomores was rash especially for those who continued studying like Suigetsu. I would usually be with him in London studying if not for my brother traveling from L.A. to see me I'd have gone.

"with whatever the case sui comes back today…I bet money Shika's helping cho move all his shit out before he get back. We all know how sui can get." I laughed at sai who came over extra early to help make my brother breakfast.

"Itachi would you like banana or blue berry waffles?" he asked.

"Banana, but doesn't sui know Shika is cheating in him? I mean is he that dumb I thought he was an honor student." Itachi asked.

"Grade wise Sui is one of the smartest people I know but unfortunately when it comes to his love for Shikamaru he becomes as blind and naïve as ever." I said eating my plain pancakes.

"I guess…but no man stays in another country minus a lover and not cheat. If Shikamaru is cheating what makes you think sui being…sui wouldn't be?" he sighed.

"Maybe…but sui is crazy over Shika-its why he left him alone with his house." I pocked the banana in the middle of the table. "hey clone I need more o.j."

"What do I look like a slave?" he turned around and looked at me. With that freaking apron on he did.

"yes." Itachi sighed.

"Here's you freaking orange juice otouto…" he pour me some juice.

"Sui's back," he said looking out the window.

I spit up my juice and Itachi dropped his fork and we ran towards the balcony. No one was expecting him home this early and choji and Shika were still asleep. Sai called the house trying to help.

"Oh Suigetsu your home…oh hi…yeah I see you…oh Shikamaru you got the phone too? Well I just called to tell you to get up!!!" he screamed.

Meanwhile me and bro rushed to the top of the balcony in our boxers. We could see sui climbing up the stairs and Shikamaru throwing all of choji's things out the window while the fat ass just sat there rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Shikamaru hurried him out the window so he was stuck on the balcony and he stripped the bed, we saw him drop the bed sheets and curse. He ruffled his hair and answered the door.

Sui didn't even say good morning just kissed him hello. Shika tried to push him off but sui just pick him up and waltz over to the bed. Poor Shika…if he ever would get out of bed today was beyond any of us. Choji wasn't entirely sure why he was sent up to the balcony with out any clothes but his boxers. But when he peeked in the room an saw sui rolling all over Shika.

"Well choji might be out there for a while…lets laughed at him." I suggested.

"Hm…why not then?" we laughed and pointed then went downstairs for some more breakfast. Afterwards I showered…or tried to shower in peace but ankii and his annoying cloned version of me kept disturbing me. I decided to go out and meet with Karin in some music store today being as that I had nothing else to do.

Karin was wearing…ugh…what was she wearing. A min skirt, half button half shirt and hair loose. She waved and ran toward me.

"Hey Karin…" I said.

"Is it so hard for you to take a well deserve break every once and again?" she asked.

"well except for my Hollywood brother we all aren't rich dad had to take up another job and moms still in L.A. on tour with Mariay Carey. Hair stylists never get off. Karin what are you wearing?" I sighed.

"Oh! Do you like…I saw this and thought of you."

"Yeah uh…Karin…I'm gay…" I reminded her.

"Oi Sasuke but you shouldn't be! Pretty boys shouldn't be gay!" she hissed.

"Well Karin…shesh are you my mom!? Lets go check out the new die hard CD." I said. (hehe die hard)

We walked over to the counter and ordered some drinks, and then we went to the ear phones and listened to some demo's. Some guy walked up behind me and asked if everything was okay. I didn't turn around to answer just acted as if the music was too high he cursed me out and left.

I went to the counter to request a change in music and guess who was working at the counter.

"Can I help you prick?" he said looking down into the computer with headphones around his neck.

"hm…dobe…?" I leaned over the counter.

He jumped and turned around slowly, "s-Sasuke…" he sighed.

I nodded, "I didn't know you work here?" I said looking him up and down.

"And I didn't know you could actually dress up like a guy…" he retorted.

"Really well I was just going to ask if you had anymore demo's but now I need full explanation of the differentiations in the music genre." I asked prettily.

"…bastard…"

"Dobe…" I smiled. He sat there talking and blushing as he gave me a full explanation. I didn't know I could just look at him and make him light up.

"Really…thanks for burning time now can you leave?" he said.

"Hm I really don't understand-"

"Narudo you're on break!!!! Leave I ain't tolerating any shit from you later!"

"Alright boss!" he ran off.

"Hey wait were are you going I wasn't done?" I chased.

"Ask another employee…I'm on break." He kept up his speed so it seemed we were running. Damnit why do I feel like I'm forgetting some thing?

He ended up rounding off into a club, a club in the day time? It was a strip joint…a female strip joint.

"Naruto…" I called.

"Stay away obsessive!" he hissed.

"but-"

"Well if it isn't my future husband?" an all too familiar voice purred pale arms wrapped around me and two soft tits squeezed against my back.

"Hey wait…damnit can't you see I was chasing someone?!" I growled.

The person leaned over "I don't see anyone…now, now don't you try and hide the fact that you're embarrassed that I finally caught you in your lies. I knew you weren't gay and it would only be a matter of time before you came to watch my show. She rubbed her chest against me.

"Huh…Sakura…I was chasing somebody! Now where'd he go?"

"Oh please this gay boy act is getting really old and really unconvincing everyday…why would a gay boy be in a strip club and when caught try to run?" she pushed her chest harder against me.

I pushed her off me, with her being half naked and in four inch heels she fell easily. "I won't tell you again that I'm gay!" I spat and ran off after my dobe.

He was in the back room he had been caught and tied up by the ladies because he ran in while they were changing.

"Dobe!! I told you not to run off!!!" I pointed at him. The girls all started to stare at me like I was chocolate on legs, some drooled, some broke out into nose bleeds. I found myself being chased around the room avoiding boy crazy girls.

"Come on dobe were leaving…" I started to drag him but he actually tried to stay. He's such a baka at times. Sakura rushed in, "hey ladies stay away form what's mine!" she declared.

"He is so not yours billboard brow!"

She turned sharply, "Ino pig!!!" she pointed at the blonde half naked stripper.

They started a cat fight while I forced the dobe into a secluded closet.

"dobe what's wrong with you? Do you know what could have happened if I had not shown up?" I hissed.

His mouth was still wrapped up so a response was beyond him; I took the gag off and waited.

"Listen…Sasuke…if girls are that crazy for you-and I am so clearly not, why don't you chase them?" he tried to move but he was tied up.

"Because dobe I wasn't kidding when I said I was gay…I don't know why people ask me that…I'm gay!" I frowned. Why did everyone expect me to be perfect…even Itachi wasn't perfect-far from it.

"Sorry…" he said looking away.

"For what…?"

"For…upsetting you…" he sighed.

"…o…kay…it alright." I said.

"I'm so going to be late back to work.

"Oh yeah…you might…you know," I sat in his lap and locked my thighs to the ground. So now he sat Indian style with his arms tied behind him trying to shake me off him.

"I win dobe…" I looked down at him with power in my eyes.

"No wait…can't we compromise?" he hissed.

"I. win." I said again.

"B-but-" he stuttered.

"I win?" I raised an eyebrow.

"y-you win-just make it quick and unmemorable…" he pleaded.

I sat up on my knees and brought his erect member out, good thing I always carry's the lube. I poured a lot onto his cock only because it twitched in response to the cold substance. I finger myself barely; I mean I didn't need it I get fucked a lot. I held his member up and looked at him, "Are you sure?"

"What?!? You take it this far and still asks?!" He spat.

Good point! I sat down on the cock I've been dreaming of riding for two weeks now. Ugh it felt amazing.

"Wait! N-no condom?!" he gasped.

"Fuck no then how can you blow your load in my ass if you wearing a rubber?" I laughed.

"My-my what?! Ah-ugh-oh! Um, okay…I guess at least I know your clean." He said in reassurance.

"Do you want a blindfold?" I asked the virgin boy. Because I was his first guy lover, he was technically a virgin!

Plus he was acting like one, "Ahh-ugh not so-" I quickly but affectively tied my tie around his eyes. I unbuttoned my shirt and brought his mouth to my bare chest.

"Suck Usurantonkachi…" I order and he did. It felt so good, the hard flesh inside me, his hair that my chin was resting on, the feel of me holding on to him as I rode him mercilessly, his hips that bucked up uncontrolled every time I went down, his spiky pubic hair that was also covered in lubricant, his mouth trailing kisses all over me. Ugh I was not going to ride him any faster then this no matter how much I wanted to. This is a moment that should be stretched out as long as possible.

"Fuck, sas could you be any slower…ugh-ah, uh!" He hissed.

"Ugh-shut up dobe! Fuck it took me three weeks for this cock…I'm going to ride you slowly." I hissed back.

"teme!" he hissed.

"So you do speak Japanese? Sexy…dobe" I said throwing my head back and masturbating slowly, no more dreaming of it, I had the real thing and it was perfect and o could feel myself orgasming!!! No!!!!!!

the room was filled with groans, sighs, and moan. It was extremely hot in here. His lips traveling up and down my torso leaving marks and a warm and tingly feeling.

I started giving slower frantic hops hoping it would delay it but I could even feel him orgasming. We were practically clinging to each other for this. He looked up at me and although he couldn't see me I knew what he was thinking.

And we kissed, and it was way better then our first kiss, so much better in fact. And we came. I came so hard it splashed up all over his face, stomach, and neck. He came just as strong perhaps stronger because it was as if someone stuck a hose up my ass and turned it on, his come leaked out of me while I milked him till he shivered signaling the pain of an after orgasm. We stayed kissing till I couldn't breath and then I fell over. That was the fucking best.

"Uh…dammit…I can't feel my legs." He spat.

"Me either…that was worth the chase Usurantonkachi…" I turned toward him

"Will you stop calling me dumb ass names teme. You don't see me not calling you by your name Sasuke." I sat up and pulled the blindfold off his eyes shimmered like a blue sea in the midnight…this feeling was back. I knew it…I feared this may happen…

I still wanted him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"You look cute with my come on you." I snickered.

"…teme." He turned bright red.

That's when I remember Karin! "oh shit I left Karin at the music store!" she was ganna be pissed.

"And now you remember I'm half an hour late for work you teme!!!" he hissed.

"Well then lets go dobe!" I untied him and we quickly cleaned up, got dressed, and left.

~Suigetsu~

I made a whole tray of barbeque pork for the guy upstair on my balcony. What? Didn't think I knew did you? Well I can be a bit naïve when it comes to my baby Shika-but I'm not blind! Plus I knew whne this affair started, I saw them the first time they did it. But I don't want Shika to loose his spark while I'm gone or to become too tight again. So I turn the other way when I travel and let the fucking continue…but Shikamaru is my life and soon to be my wife so this not so secret affair stops today.

Don't worry I didn't poison the food for real…I couldn't kill choji or Shikamaru will never talk to me again. And as much as I _own _him, because I do own him, he had the freedom of will to choose whether he enjoyed my company or not.

Seriously I ain't bout to kill him. I was going to feed him tell him to get the fuck out and then go down back to my love chambers and tell Shikamaru I know and he needs to stop before I loose it and wind up killing choji on _accident_. Then I'd proceed in making up for three months of sex. And pound my baby into the mattress.

Choji was cold and still up there poor guy, "hey, what you doing?" I said putting the food on the floor he jumped and looked around scared. "Ugh…sui I was…I was tanning" he lied.

"oh really its night time and cooled out side." I corrected.

"um…well…I-" he stumbled.

"Listen cho I appreciate you comforting my Shika while I was in London and last year when I was in south Africa…but this has seriously got to stop! I'm not fucking with you anymore…I'm not as mean as they describe me, so I brought a peace offering I looked at the tray." He looked worried.

"I'm not hungry…" he lied.

"your always hungry!" I growled.

"not now I'm not!" he said scared.

I sighed, "I didn't poison it! If I kill you Shika would never talk to me again. And I'd die if I had his body with no heart or no soul! You see choji-Shikamaru Nara is mine, and I've let you two play in the play ground for too long. Stop fucking my boyfriend, in fact stop thinking about fucking him and we going to be cool." I turned to leave "eat, dress up, and leave with out saying goodbye." I left.

I downstairs leaving the door unlocked so he could leave and some clothes out. Then I went to the bed room we're Shika sat by the window worrying. He's so cute when he goes all paranoia on me. He goes into that critical thinking look and stares so randomly trying to figure out how to solve things.

"hey baby…" I startled him and he look back scared.

"babe…uh can I go eat something I'm hungry?" he asked pulling on the cuffs on his feet that kept him tied to the bed.

"of course babe, what do you want?" I turned to leave.

"No can I go and get it?" he persisted.

"Why?' I turned around sharply.

"Because I want to get out of here!" he pleaded.

"Hmm, you sure it has nothing to do with choji upstairs? Its okay I feed him and told him to get out! Shika…is there something you want to tell me?" he looked stunned.

"You've known all along and let me worry my hair out!?" he hissed.

"If hair falls off of you anywhere I will skin the fat one!" I growled.

"If you hurt choji I will leave you!" he threatened

"Don't make empty threats and if your serious then you are stupider then I thought! First of all I wouldn't hurt him I know how important he is to you-second I you can't leave me! I'd sooner kill you before then! I own you…." He looked angry.

"What!? you think just like every other pretty boy on this street. You own me now because I choose to do as you say? I own you bitch, and opening your legs at the will is not being owned. If anything I'ma slut first!" he spat.

"aww Shika baby…don't be angry at me." I sat on the bed next to him, "I love you and just don't want you with another man because this fine ass should be mine and mine alone to pound." I spanked him softly he laughed but kept the frown on.

"Baby let me make it up to you I grabbed the lube and his present he sat up and stared at me then I dropped the lube and bent down to get it.

~Shikamaru~

"Marry me Nara?" he asked.

"Oh….uh…..Suigetsu I…."

He laughed "just say yes." He smiled.

"Sui baby yes…I do! I will! Yes!" I shrieked.

"I love you baby so stay by me, and die by me." He sat up and put the ring on my finger. Oh my gawd I was engaged.

Now I can go to sleep in the arms of my soon to be husbands arms.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed I felt bad for Sasuke so I gave Naruto to him. Plus no one has said anything about this, I am spelling choji's name wrong on purpose and yet no one asked why but I can get a million other responses!? Never mind….it gets better so wait eagerly for the nxt chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Everyone,

**BETA WORKERS NEEDED**

After years of working on stories and being told I need a beta and my off and off beta work that I've gotten, I've decided I want to get thing on and get things over with. I'm basically trying to say I won't really have the inspiration to finish any of these stories until a proper beta is found that will stick with me the whole nine yards. And I want them finish so I can put more effort into my new stories. I really don't care what story you want to help with as long as I get enough clearly we all can't work on one story or work on a story that is no longer in progress so there's a down side to this first come first serve I guess. All my active stories are My Boys, My Stalker Boyfriend, The Unread Docs, p.s. i love you too, ALL STARS, ViXeN, and To Be Hokage. So if you decide you like my stories, you like being a beta, and can put up with me, than by all mean PM me and request what story you want to beta for and we'll go from there.

If you would like to skip the informalities but you still want to beta for me email me at my email on my profile since it won't let me write it in here. My Profile Is Not 2much4dis It's **The Ultimate Uke **to get my email address head there.

~The Ultimate Uke

p.s. I'm soooooo sorry but this is not an update. Thank you for your time.


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